life

Sometime it's being hurt

1:02 PM

Well what are you doing when you getting hurt?? this post maybe really really late to sharing with you. Before change this year, before chirstmast and before everything I thinking about my self and my love life.

December, 2016.
I am still student magister psychology but the different is I've handled the case. Maybe this month change my self. Actually handled case having a client or patient has been on a few month before. But thinking about relationdhip or something serious is just recently for me. After brekup on 2104. Idk i just have a value for relationship. I have a standart and of course i become a picky. (well sometime is good but sometime not).
People come and go it is common thing for me, until i meet someone who i rejected hmm maybe he is a tough guy when I have refused to continue and he keeps trying. Actually he is good and very "royal" person. Hahaha in every i mad he always give a gift. But one thingsI learned, money will not be able to buy your feelings. I know when you open your door having MK bag is really good but i hope the person make a mistake relize their fault.

I knew from the beginning I did not fit with him but I gave him a chance (*it's my fault) in December, i just thinking "Do i want to marry with him? And whether I can accept him. What happen in 10 year  can i still loving him?"
And finally yaaaa.. Questions from my brain and heart were answered. I like being treated as a princess, I love to be heard but I do not like him. I just accept him as my best friend not more. I can't accepted his value, Sarcasm and anyting else i can't mention.

Then what happen after that?
He said I am asshole, bastard and also yelling me. well again its hurts.I just want to stop this unfairness. I know i was wrong, but maybe its not just enough. I only remember how many people have unresolved relationships with me then i text him (all) back. Crazy yaaa. But i think i should do it. I just wanna say sorry dan make apologize to everyone I may have rejected and hurt. After that After that time I decided to become someone more responsible especially with feelings.

Last January, 2017
well i'm forgot what the excatly last January or February, I meet a new guys. Someone who say hi on me first. Actually when he greeted I felt something else, but i just too scared to know my true feelings. I know i have a feeling with him but idk how to explain hahaha and now i really scare to being hurt (again). In march till april i ever leave him.We had a chance to argue and I did not explain my problem. We have a long distance relationship and all messy until I return to jakarta

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